How To Confuse A Dragon: The Story
NOBODY MAY EDIT THIS EXCEPT FOR CHIPPER! Fandoms included: * Beast Quest * Pokemon * HTTYD * Sea Quest * The Numtums * Land Before Time * Warrior Cats Prologue: In the Evilcity Theatre... The evil sorceress who HAD to have lightning magic and was basically ELSA but called KENSA instead mwuhaha'd. "Mwuhaha!" she mwuhaha'd. "With this evil machine I made, I will- " Somebody coughed. "THAT WAS NOT MADE BY YOU, IDIOT! COURTNEY AND TABITHA MADE IT, BECAUSE THEY'RE THE ONLY SMART ONES HERE OTHER THAN ME!" Maxie screamed. All the members of Team Magma high-fived each other. Yes, even their pokemon. Except for Courtney and her pokemon, because she was busy planning on how she should control the world and betray Eclipse. And looking for her swim suit, because a day at the beach was all part of her plan. "What's in it for the HTTYD villains?" Furious the Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus growled. Sanpao played a sad song on his violin, breaking it in the process. "YOU GET FREE STUFF!" Archie screeched, not unlike Sanpao. Furious slammed a huge amount of Dragon Rider Coins on the stage. "I'M JOINING!" he roared, shooting a magnificent tower of flame. The shadow of Courtney in a swimming costume was on the stage. "Beach day... Tuesday..." came her monotonous voice from behind the curtains, and then the Magma Admin fled. Suddenly, smoke filled the hall! "What an event, villanous indeed!" "We'll join you when we feel the need!" The smoke cleared to reveal two team rocket members and a meowth on its hind legs. Giovanni face-palmed. James grinned, a rose with blue petals between his teeth. "Bringing the blinding white light of evil into the future!" Jessie cried. "Thrusting the hammer of justice down onto the black darkness of the universe!" James continued. The meowth joined in, "Carving our names in the Rock of Eternity!" "The fiery destroyer, Jessie!" the mauve-haired woman cried. "And with thunderous emotion, I am James!" the blue-haired man shouted. "Wisest of the wise, Meowth!" Meowth growled. All three flung up their arms. "And now gather, under the name of Team Rocket!" they roared. Jessie's wobuffet jumped out of its pokeball. "Wobuffet!" it agreed. Drago Bludvist clapped sarcastically. So did Viggo and Ryker Grimborn. Velmal walked onto stage and played a sad trombone sound with an alien instrument. Malvel asked where his body was. "In the back, being eaten by my pokemon," Maxie said - SARCASTICALLY. Malvel thanked him and floated out. "TAKE 2413424!" Kensa yelled, wearing a replica of Anoret's face. The Pokemon villains unenthusiastically sung the Star Wars theme tune. The curtains closed... Chapter 1: Goodcity In the City of Goodcity, where every hero lives happily and in peace, Tom was annoyed. "Where are they getting so many beasts?!" he screamed. Hiccup Horrendous Haddock The ThirdWhen 'Horrendous' is added, that means it's the book version. The movie version does not have 'Horrendous' in this. shrugged helplessly, trying to get a struggling Toothless (books) to behave. "Eat your haddock!" he said crossly. "H-h-h-haddock YUCKY," Toothless (books) replied, sticking his nose up. All of a sudden, Camicazi and Elenna burst in, doing cartwheels. "LOOKLOOKLOOK! NEWQUESTNEWQUESTNEWQUEST!" Camicazi screamed, slamming a newspaper on the table. "Oh, yippee," Astrid said sarcastically as she read it. ~The Heroic Newspaper~ TEAM MAGMA ADMIN COURTNEY SIGHTED! Today, a wolf called Silver informed us that he saw a purple-haired woman with a red suit, running out of a clothing store, carrying a large bag full of clothes. To the right is a drawing of Team Magma Admin Courtney, who fits the description well. According to the store's owner, he saw her 'stealing a red swimsuit and a long, red wedding dress'. It is unknown why Team Magma may be looking to steal wedding clothes and swimming clothes, but the International Police are looking into this strange, strange occurrence. 'Are YOU looking for the best dragon?' Well, LOOK NO FURTHER! Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, the Hope and Heir to his Father Stoick the Vast, O Look Upon Him and Tremble, Ugh Ugh has found the answer to this tricky question! In an interview with Hiccup himself, our team found the answer! Interview: Interviewer: Well, then, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock the Third, what IS the best dragon? Hiccup: It varies a lot. I found Toothless, a baby Seadragonus Giganticus Maximus, extremely tricky to train, while my friend, Fishlegs, found his Basic Brown, Horrorcow, EXTREMELY easy to train. Interviewer: And there you have it! "Oooh, look, T-T-T-Toothless was on t-the n-n-news! T-T-T-TOOTHLESS WAS ON T-THE N-N-NEWS!" Toothless (books) chattered, in (almost perfect) norse. All the dragons had learnt norse, taught by the Stormfly, who was perched on Camicazi's head. "Alright! Now, who should do this...?" SnotloutWhen 'Snotface' is added, it's the book version. If it's just 'Snotlout', it's the movie version. said, grinning nervously. Everyone looked at each other. "Dragon riders, pirates-in-training, Tom, Elenna, Storm, Silver and Epos. Oh, and Daltec, and the dragons," Hiccup Haddock decided, looking over everyone. "I hate flying!" Daltec and Silver complained. "Too bad, let's get the riding dragons and leave," Epos growled. The phoenix preened her wings. "Uhh, Hiccup? How do we know where Courtney is?" Fishlegs IngermanWhen 'Ingerman' is added, it's the movie version. asked. "I forgot to mention that EclMe in Pokemon is coming," Tom pointed out. The brown-haired Pokemon trainer walked in, as if listening. Which she was, since she was a spy. Black, her delphox, followed. "When do we leave?" she asked, as Phobos, also known as Latias, flew in as well. Chapter 2: Dagur and Heather joined the party! "Do you hear that?" Horrorcow casually said, flying alongside Fishlegs's Chickenpoxer. Hiccup Haddock used his telescope. "It's Dagur and Heather!" he shouted, seeing the familiar razorwhip and gronkle, along with the riders. To cut a long story short, they joined the team. Iwawque the Yveltal casually came out of his pokeball. "When can we land?" Phobos asked. "There!" Heather yelled, and they landed, while Epos yelled, "Hey, wait a moment! Why aren't I the main character of this story?!"t Chapter 3: I Can't Believe It's Not Butter- umm, Magic "Wait!" Glaedr the Rayquaza yelled, flying out of his pokeball. "It's-" It was too late. Epos and the dragons slammed into the glass sphere around the island. "Magic forcefield?!" Storm le gasped. "It looks more like glass," Phobos said, rolling his eyes DRAMATICALLY. "But we crashed into it!" "So? Glass can be reinforced." "But we- Ugh, fine, it's... WINDOWS!!" Elenna screeched. Eclipse dramatically facepalmed. Dagur charged at the glass. It shattered, and he grabbed a piece. "I SHALL CALL YOU MAGICSTORM!" the Berserker screeched. They dived in... Chapter 4: Meanwhile, in Team Magma Hideout "Tabitabi. Tabitabi Tabitabi! Taaaabitaaaabi...." That didn't seem to be doing anything... "TABITHA!" Courtney screeched. Tabitha jumped a metre in the air and turned around. He glared at the other admin. "Why did you do that?" he asked her. "Because you were fiddling with the wrong buttons." "Oh, this one?" TABITHA PRESSED IT. Courtney slapped him. The doors opened, and a clone of Courtney walked out. "Number 63! GET BACK IN THE TESTING CHAMBER!" Courtney screamed, punching 63. "Ow," 63 said. She glared at the original Courtney, but walked back in. Courtney quickly hit the button labeled 'CLOSE', and the doors closed. She then started attacking Tabitha, punching him and slapping him and kicking him. When she was done, she walked out, and sad music began to play. "COURTNEY! WHY DID YOU DO THAAAAT?" Tabitha screamed to the empty space. Chapter 5: Where on earth? "Where on earth are we?!" Black sighed. Tuffnut pulled out a convenient map. "Tuffnut, where...?" Astrid began, before cutting herself off. "Breakneck Bog," Tuffnut gasped, grinning. Eclipse got off Latias and stepped on a random person's toe. The person screeched. It was Lia the Merryn! Silver glared at Spike the Swordfish, who had beautiful silver wings. "THIS WORKS ON LAND!!!" Max screeched as he rode by on his aqua-bike. Rivet followed, barking robotically. Suddenly, Viggo jumped out. But it was actually Ryker! And then it was Team Magma Admin Tabitha! Finally, after 1000 costumes, it was revealed to be Courtney. Her Camerupt was eaten by Windshear, so she SCREAMED. Maxie heard it, and he was in the Cave of Origin! ...and dressed in a Magma Suit made for a female. Archie heard it, and he was in a submarine! ...and trying to learn how to draw. Courtney ran, but was eaten by Windshear. "Tastes like robotics," Windshear said. Max le gasped. "WILL THESE CLONES NEVER END?!" he cried in disbelief. The sad trombone sound effect played. And now for something completely different... Chapter 6: Zinnia and Ferno On top of the Sky Pillar... "You seriously think you can summon the king of the sky?" the black dragon. After a pause, Zinnia answered, "Yes." "Eclipse already caught him, though!" Zinnia paused in disbelief. She shook her fist at the sky angrily. "CAN'T A GIRL HAVE A CHANCE?!" the dragon-type trainer yelled in disbelief. Salamence's pokeball quivered slightly, which meant that he approved. Aster rolled his eyes. Suddenly, Serena fell from the sky. "DEOXYS NOOOOOOOO!" she screeched as she fell. Ferno caught her by the dress, and put her down on the stone floor. "Why the heck are humans up here?" a random (shiny) black Rayquaza asked. Zinnia tapped the rayquaza with her pokeball and caught it. "I SHALL NAME YOU ERUPTION!" she yelled, letting out the pokemon. Eruption shrugged, and flew off. Zinnia grabbed its hand and Aster grabbed her foot, and Ferno flew after them. Chapter 7: Lysandre Cafe Meanwhile, in Lysandre Cafe... "AAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAAHA!" "LUSAMINE STOP!" "AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" "LUSAMINE!!!" Lysandre screeched. He knew giving her tea would be a bad idea! The Aether Foundation leader, Lusamine, was hitting him with a toy Ultra Beast and cackling evilly. The Team Flare and Aether Foundation admins watched. Wicke stole some of Aliana's popcorn, and Aliana tripped Lusamine, who then fell face-first into some cake. Xerosic walked out to look for a blanket to trap Lusamine in. A random Ultra Beast floated in, then realised something. "Sorry, wrong generation. I'm introduced the generation after the next, aren't I?" it said, casually floating through a tear in reality. "FIRE FIXES EVERYTHING!" a random pokemon screamed, and Lusamine and Lysandre were the only people left - the rest had turned into ash. Xerneas walked in and walked right out again. Chapter 8: Meanwhile, in Evilcity "I need YOU like a stick in the EYE!" Cat!Courtney growled in a scottish accent, pointing at one of her violet eyes with a claw. "Oh, yeah? And I need you like I need to die! You truly disgrace the race that breeds you," Cat!Tabitha countered in an irish accent, tail lashing. Courtney realised something. "WHAT THE HECK HAPPENED TO ME? AND WHY IS MY VOICE DIFFERENT? AND WHY IS MY PERSONALITY DIFFERENT?!" she screeched, fur puffed up in her panic. Stoick the Vast had to take lessons from Gobber the Belch on how to nawt speel corectlee. "it ish a importent vikin skeel," the large viking teacher said. Kensa kicked the Goodcity inhabitants out of Evilcity. Screech and Thud were dancing to 'Tasty Termite Treats'. The lyrics went something like this (sung by Redclaw): "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine! TEN Tasty Termite Treats! But that's too many for one Numtum to eat... Yeah... So let's take three treats and put them away! Save 'em for another day! How many treats have we got on the tray? Come together, let me- " Bomb the Vulture started singing 'Yellow Submarine'. Shelly (as a wolf) face-pawed and sighed. "When I wake up, first thing I do - EGGS. Is to look around for something to chew - EGGxactly! Feeding myself is very, very tricky, because, you see, I'm RIDICULOUSLY PICKY! Eeeeeggggs..." Ozzy began. The other villains - except for another struthomimus - clapped non-sarcastically. "Ozzy, I, uh..." "This struthomimus won't settle for- " "SHUT THE HECK UP!" Strut screamed. "Hey! We've got children watching this!" Meowth snarled. "Don't watch this, Children," Flowey said, strangling Strut with his vines. "Hey, did you know that this doesn't include Undertale? Sooooooooorryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy," Gladion said, holding a cup of tea. Tea apparently had the same effects on him as it did on his mother. The Ultra Recon Squad started getting into one of those cloud fights, with the fight cloud. It ended with Phyco getting bonked on the head with a falling anvil, and Dulse played him like an accordian. Entity 303 snuck in, but got eaten by a random Ultra Beast. "WHAT THE HECKING HECK, NAGANADEL?!" Zossie screeched, throwing Soliera at it. Soliera turned into a piece of paper, and Dulse was shown to be Zorua! "I like cats," Gladion said, "They're a canine and a feline and a pokemoooooooon." "I left for ONE SECOND to go see what a tunnel is!" the real Dulse huffed, walking into the room. He put on his visor to see properly. Zossie ran, and various villains chased her, since she was holding the Dragon Jewel. Gladion was chased out by Plumeria. Chapter 9: Edgelord Gladion appeared! The heroes were exploring when Hau popped out! He was followed by a caffeinated Gladion, whose emerald irises and black pupils were really smol. "Prepare fo- " Team Rocket was blasted off by the Herogroup. Type: Null facepawed, and asked when Zinnia would appear. "WE'RE BLASTING OFF AGAAAAAAAIN!" Team Rocket cried, and a Courtney Clone fell from the sky. "I hate you," the clone said, before being eaten by Hookfang. Shelly ran in, shrieking, "RUN! IT'S A HUNGRY ALIEN!" and was chased by Zossie, who was holding the Dragon Jewel. "Oh, good, we're near to Evilcity," Eclipse said, and Rotomdex started slapping Gladion. When asked why it did that, it didn't reply, instead growling. Gladion finally was no longer caffeinated, and sighed. "Eeeeedgeloooooord," Camicazi said, with a troll face. Gladion screeched in horror. "WHAT'S NEXT, AN INJURY WHICH FORCES ME TO BE MADE OUT OF KNIVES?!" the blonde-haired boy yelled, and Eclipse transformed into Alolan!Eclipse. Lillie ran up, punched Gladion in the throat, and chased after Nebby. "Nebby is a lunala. SHE WON'T FIT IN THE BAG!" Eclipse shrieked angrily. Epos puffed herself up, annoyed. "We're just dragging this on to keep all these pictures of poor, poor Gladion in the chapter. And we can stop now," Elenna said, bored. Chapter 10: Zinnia A shiny mega Rayquaza called Eruption flew in, with Zinnia the Dragon Trainer on his neck. Ferno followed. "Why am I holding a tea-cup?" Gladion asked, and everyone shrugged. "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee," Zinnia said, and shoved a picture in Gladion's face. "This is... a picture of a raven," Gladion said, blinking. Zinnia nodded enthusiastically. Hiccup Haddock rode on Toothless and flew away. "Why are we so out of character?" Pikachu said. Eclipse started stabbing Ash Ketchum with a leaf which her Sceptile shed. Gladion just walked away. Plumeria walked by. "Hey aren't you supposed to be evil?" Nebby said, who'd turned into a Cosmoem. "Apparently not," Plumeria replied, brushing her pink-and-yellow hair. Eruption used his Rockruff eyes on Lillie "Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww," she said. "NEW RECORD!" Max screamed, and nobody could tell what was happening, because an ultra wormhole appeared. Chapter 11: Necrozma "NEBBY, GET BACK IN THE BAG!" Lillie shrieked, shaking her fist at the glowing pokemon. But Nebby ignored her, transforming into a Lunala. "Nebby learned Ultrawormhole!" Eclipse yelled, and Gladion did that weird thing where he holds his wrist and looks like he's in pain. Actually, everyone who had a 'neutral action' went through it. Phyco appeared and was stroking his moustache. He was eaten by Necrozma, who flew out of the wormhole. "OKAY, THAT IS IT! I AM GETTING OUT OF THIS AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!" Gladion yelled, throwing down the raven picture and storming away. Everyone watched him go. "So, uh... Wanna go get some pokebeans?" Necrozma said, after an awkward silence. "Sorry, too busy going on a quest," Eclipse replied, walking towards Evilcity. Lillie dragged Gladion back with the promise that it wouldn't get TOO silly. Just rather silly. Chapter 12: *screaming* Meanwhile, in Evilcity... "HAHAHHAHHAHAHAAH- Owch!" Lusamine screeched, as Guzma hit her with her own ultra beast plushie. The Ultra Recon Team was gone. Maxie walked in. "Hey, we've got a PLOT!" he cheered, and Courtney realised something. "What," she said, staring at the wall. Everyone looked. There was a piece of glass in the wall! "THIS MEANS WAR, HICCUP HORRENDOUS HADDOCK THE THIRD, HOPE AND HEIR TO THE HOOLIGAN THRONE!" Alvin the Treacherous roared, and dragged everyone outside except Courtney, who was now sketching a hungry creature... Chapter 13: Beast Quest! Beast Quest! Gladion Quest! "Why 'Gladion Quest'? What are you going to do to me, world?" Gladion said, crossing his arms. We missed the original plot. "Which is?" Defeating Zossie and Courtney. "...heck. Heck, heck, HECK," Nebby said, as most of the characters disappeared. Those who remained: * Eclipse * Gladion * Lillie * Max * Elenna * Tom * Plumeria * Zinnia * Ferno * Eruption * Camicazi * Hiccup Haddock * Hiccup Horrendous Haddock * Dragon Riders * A few others "Don't forget angry birds," Epos pointed out. Fine. * Eclipse * Gladion * Lillie * Max * Elenna * Tom * Plumeria * Zinnia * Ferno * Eruption * Camicazi * Hiccup Haddock * Hiccup Horrendous Haddock * Dragon Riders * A few others * Epos (who is obsessed with angry birds) Gladion chuckled, and everyone stared at him. Plumeria threw a rock at him, and the blonde boy dodged. Nebby sang. "This is getting too random," Gladion said, frowning once more. Firestar walked up to them and was humanoid. He dragged the main characters in the direction of Evilcity. Chapter 14: Oh my Arceus! Meanwhile... The villains dropped their various cups, except for Courtney, who just stared suspiciously at her 11th cup of tea. The reason was that the creature who'd opened the door (breaking Mars's leg in the process) was a black, humanoid cat with a purple collar, decorated with dog's teeth... "OH MY ARCEUS! IT'S SCOURGE!" Ghetsis yelled, and turned into a bat due to reason. "IT'S YOUR KIT SCOURGE! BIG BAD SCOURGE IS HERE! SOME OTHER GUZMA-RELATED PHRASE!" the cat responded, doing gun-hands- uh, gun-paws. Tigerstar was close behind, wielding a greatsword. He gave his fellow Warrior Cats villain a scimitar. Ichy and Dil both muttered, "Show-offs..." before returning to their fight over a bowl of Longneck Soup. Kensa stared at her tea, muttering something before looking for something else, pouring her tea on Courtney, who repeatedly smashed her head against the table thanks to the villains' stupidity. Malvel started cleaning up the shards of cup on the floor. It was only when she threw a cup of tea at him that Hawkfrost, who'd followed Tigerstar inside the cafe, called an ambulance for Mars. Archie turned into a wolf and ran outside, before walking back inside on his hind legs with a hospital hat on. "Sirens sirens sirens," he says unconvincingly, tapping the injured Mars, who disappears. Chapter 15: The Show Must Go On "I just want the fanfiction to eeeend," Gladion sung. After a moment, he added, "And for this chapter to not be named after some random song that Chipper can't stop thinking about." "No," said a russian woman with short, black hair and two katanas... "IT'S HER," Type: Null whispered, staring in horror at the supervillain. The russian woman, who was called Natalya, or Raven, rolled her eyes. "Well, since you wished for it to end..." She clicked her tongue. Everybody in this fanfiction, yes, EVERYBODY, was thrown into a white room not unlike a dentist's waiting room. Scourge appeared to be reading a booklet on dental hygiene. He started giggling. Courtney asked him what was so funny. She appeared to be wearing a ring of some sort, underneath a pair of rubber gloves. "This booklet is for HUMANS!" Scourge cackled, showing his teeth. His horrible teeth. "Even so, you should probably read it," the Stormfly hissed, wrinkling her snout in disgust. (Scourge slapped her.) "You know, I much prefer the sequel," Gladion commented, stroking a cat that bore a resemblance to Barney the dinosaur. Barney the cat was currently sharpening his claws, and looking hopefully at Raven's katanas. He grinned a terrifying grin full of teeth like needles at anyone who dared look at him. "Sequels," Chipper corrected him. "What?" "There are two sequels, one for the version of this that's a series of animations on an imaginary website, and one for the version of this that's a page on a wiki for random things but mostly wolves," she explained. "Okayyyy..." Gladion blinked. "What are the sequels called?" Astrid asked. "Corn (A Fanfiction) and the Legend of the Multi-Dimensional Randomness," she replied. "Thanks for the links!" Barney the cat giggled in a voice that reminded Gladion of... uhh... Chipper forgot what she was going to write. "So... what now?" a random ShadowClan cat asked. "We wait for the end," Courtney said in a grave voice, unlike her usual self, "But, first, let's get what the plots were going to be out of the way." Chipper cleared her throat. ONE - The Wings of Fire dragons were going to exist. TWO - There was going to be a day at the beach for the villains. THREE - The heroes were going to infiltrate the villains' secret base. FOUR - Courtney was going to marry Darkstalker. FIVE - This was going to never end, so the plot would have even more stuff than this. "Well, then..." Courtney hissed. "...THE END," EVERYONE FINISHED. "WELL, THAT WASN'T VERY FUNNY!" the half-elf screeched. The weredragon ducked, as he threw the paper at her. "You're right, but it was meant to have a moral, as well!" Eclipse cried desperately, trying to finish this fanfiction already so that she could impersonate Chipper already. And- too late. The readers already knew that this was all a lie, created by Eclipse SURNAME. "And the moral wasssss?" Oceaneye the Fairy hissed. "Uhh... not to mess with space and time?" the young girl said timidly, hiding behind a pile of books that she hadn't bothered to put back on the bookshelves. "We're already messing with space and time," Oceaneye answered, unimpressed. She'd thought that she'd be more than just a copy of Ariel, for Opal's sake! Oh, you wanted this to end for real? THE END OF THE END Category:Randomness Category:HTTYD Category:Pokemon Category:Stories Category:Fanfictions Category:Beast Quest Category:Sea Quest Category:Edgelord Category:I'M CHOKING ON PURE EDGE Category:Edg Category:Edge Category:Edgy Category:Egg Category:Phe Egg Category:Wenothoh4;h34;thrh4orh Category:Complete Stories